Marcus L Endicott

Map

Tuesday, October 30, 1990

I woke up with the late sun to a gray sky, and listened to the BBC. I made soup with 3 eggs, cayenne pepper, and salt for breakfast. I also had hot chocolate with condensed milk from Switzerland, in a tube like toothpaste. I wrote in my journal before packing.

By 11:00, I was bucking a stiff head wind on the road. I soon came to the big town of Valmiera. Due to construction and bad marking, it took me a while to find my way through town. But, I did stop at a store to get 2 liters of good cherry juice for about 6 Roubles. My rear derailler busted at the town of Strenei around lunch time. Apparently, it had just worn through. It took 20 minutes fix. I trimmed the spare cable tip with the scissors on my Swiss Army knife. I lunched on chocolates, a Sesamki bar, and cherry juice.

I pushed on against harsh head winds through miles of lovely forest to the twin towns of Valka and Valga on the border between Latvia and Estonia. It was dusk by the time I crossed the border, so I found a place in the woods to camp just past town. I had a dinner of canned fish, black bread, and cherry juice. That night I dreamed of fresh vegetables. The previous night I dreamed of gourmet cheeses. I have even dreamt of McDonalds lately.

Wednesday, October 31, 1990 *Halloween*

I woke up early in the forest to drizzle. There had been snow clouds all day yesterday, and I had half expected to wake up covered in snow. I had a vitamin, chocolates, and cherry juice for breakfast. I listened to the BBC and wrote in my journal. I packed up wet, and was on the road by 09:00.

I pushed hard all day, against a strong head wind, to make the 85 klicks to Tartu. Soon the drizzle became sleet, and the sleet became snow. However, it did not start sticking until the end of the day. The surface of the road was quite rough, just rocks imbedded in tarmac.

I stopped at midday in the town of Rongu to buy juice and cookies. I felt pressure to continue because all of my things were wet and my food was running low, but even more so because I knew Kulli was having a birthday party that night. I walked the last 10 klicks into Tartu, because weather and road conditions had become so dangerous. Dusk had come about 16:00, but I found her apartment by 18:00.

I had a hot shower from a wood fired water heater, before joining what they called a "jelly" party. We had a nice dinner of fish, potato salad, cheese, juice, and tea. I had to sing a song for my dinner, and dance with my hostess. The flower arranging teacher from the nature center gave me a great leg massage. I enjoyed talking with Kulli's brother, a photography teacher, who hated communism but could not think beyond socialism. I was asleep in a warm bed in the living room by 00:30.

Thursday, November 1, 1990

I woke up about 09:00. My knees were still sore. I listened to the BBC and wrote in my journal. I had herb tea and party leftovers with Kulli for breakfast.

We walked into town by way of the university. We then took a bus to the Institute of Zoology and Botany to visit Kulli's cousin, Indrek. (Kulli's father, 2 cousins, and maybe even her mother are biologists. Her grandfather wrote the definitive book on Estonian national games.) Indrek and his two colleagues were just going to lunch in their cafeteria as we arrived; so, we joined them.

I had juice, Kefir, black bread, potatoes, and some kind of fried composite meat. We talked about Estonian ecology and ecologists. After Kulli left, we played computer games that Indrek had written most of the afternoon. Later we went back into town by bus and visited the only beer pub for brews and a dinner of roast beef and potatoes. I walked back to Kulli's and fell asleep until she returned from the town council meeting.

Friday, November 2, 1990

I woke up to cold and rainy weather outside. I listened to the BBC and wrote in my journal. I set up my computer and revised my list of Estonian contacts. After Kulli got up, we had delicious herb tea with honey and more goodies leftover from her party for breakfast. I also had some juice with my vitamin.

We went by bus to the "Nature House," an educational center for children, where she works. For some 37 years, it has had special interest circles for kids after school. Kulli showed me a presentation on the major ecological problems of Estonia. I met the flower arranging and photography teachers. The photo teacher told me of the Estonian Defense League, a kind of paramilitary vigilante organization connected with the Estonian Congress and the exile government in Sweden.

We had lunch at a nice coffee shop nearby. It was "private," or an in-house one for some institution. I had juice, two pieces of apple pie, and some chocolates. It cost 3 roubles for both of us. Afterwards, we strolled through traditional neighborhoods to visit the nature center green house. Later, we went to the new headquarters of the Green Movement to meet with the chairman, Tonu Oja. He was most informative.

After the long meeting, we went with Tonu to the private "engineers club." He needed a magnetized membership card to automatically unlock the door. We had mint liqueur cordial, coffee, salami sandwich, and cake. We enjoyed more informal conversation. Afterwards, we went to a cabaret restaurant. We had to talk our way in past the doorman. I had good salmon, tomatoes, "salad," beets, carrots, potatoes, "steak," ice cream, and tea. There was a dramatic floor show, including strip tease. I danced with Kulli to a good dance band, after she asked. Before we left, the table behind us started throwing glasses, and a bloody fight erupted. I felt like I was in the old wild west. Tonu drove us back to Kulli's in his car.

Saturday, November 3, 1990

I listened to the BBC and wrote in my journal after waking up. I had a vitamin and juice. I continued revising the Estonian contact list on my computer. Kulli and I had breakfast of scrambled eggs, carrot salad, and herb tea with honey.

One of Kulli's girlfriends came by with her young daughter for a visit, while I worked some more on my computer. Later, we went on a walking tour to the old cathedral, which now houses the university museum. We had dinner at a good chicken restaurant by the river. It cost 12 roubles for two. Afterwards, we went to get a bottle of champagne from a commercial shop, for 30 roubles.

We then went to look for Antanina's friend Raho. We found his richly cultured apartment, and met his delicately lovely wife, Ali, a music teacher, and their two children, a son, Allo, and a baby daughter. He returned after we had tea. He was beaming and beautiful; we hugged. He took me and Kulli to meet some of his friends and watch a Tai Chi video recently made in Tallinn. They were interested in Rainbow. We made arrangements for going to Tallinn and meeting other spiritually oriented people there.

We walked back to Kulli's. Kulli and I drank champagne, talking and laughing until 03:00. She is pleasant looking and acting, but very serious most of the time. I some what reluctantly went to sleep alone, a bit aroused.

Sunday, November 4, 1990

I had some chocolate and a vitamin, wrote in my journal, and listened to the BBC. Kulli got up before I was finished listening to the radio. We joked and giggled over a brunch of hot chocolate, that I brought from Austria, and various finger foods, mostly still leftover from her party. We talked elliptically about sex most of the morning. She eventually let slip that her ex-boyfriend of five years had run off with her brother's wife. Apparently, all four had lived closely together for some time in this same two room apartment, where she had grown-up and still lived. I realized that we at least had in common tragic love lives. I of course told of my own woes.

I halfheartedly left for Raho's, which was not very far away, just around two corners. His wife and son were there with the baby daughter, who had an earache. A friend, younger than me, was also there dropping off a new window frame for a mutual friend. He told me in German that he had recently started a biodynamic seed farm, and raised sheep in addition to six children! He insisted that he was Lutheran, and not Catholic! Raho returned with Urmas from a English language lecture by a young French priest, living in Finland, on the iconography of the trinity. Urmas, apparently as usual, was on the run, flitting from one happening place to another.

We listened to Mike Oldfield and renaissance music most of the afternoon. Later, we had a vegetarian meal, with a silent prayer circle before we ate. I felt really at home for the first time since visiting the ecological village in Poland. I learned that sugar beets were white, not red, and tried them for the first time, baked in the fire like a potato. After I briefed Raho about Rainbow and gave him the necessary addresses, we went for a walk. We looked for his friend, the official town ecologist, but he wasn't at home.

I returned to Kulli's with a headache from drinking the night before. But, she laid her hand on my forehead, and it slowly went away. She made another dinner for us. We watched slides of different parts of Estonia and of her field trips to the East, to the mountains of Russia and Central Asia. Urmas stopped by to cancel our meeting the next day in Tallinn, but told me where to find his friends. Afterwards, Kulli and I drank brandy, still wandering overly cautiously around the touchy subject of love and sex. We both went to bed separately, frustrated. However, as usual I was extremely tired.

Monday, November 5, 1990

I jumped up early, at the first clang of Kulli's erratic alarm clock, and started packing my bike. I had to inflate the now completely flat front tire. After a hurried breakfast of fried potatoes, we rode bikes together to the train station. As we went out the door, she gave me the 60 roubles for $10 that I asked for. Kulli got train tickets for me and my bike to Tallinn, for 3 roubles and some kopeks. I loaded my bike onto the train and hugged her goodbye.

The small train of two or three cars with hard wooden seats stopped at every single station, for a four hour trip to Tallinn. I arrived there in the cold at noon. I found a phone near the station, but couldn't make satisfactory contact with anyone at that time. Peeter M., a computer wiz, suggested I try the Sport Hotel near the old Olympic complex.

I rode across town, due East by compass, and found the hotel without too much trouble. The doorman threw a fit when I came in the front door with my bike. He wanted me to leave it out in the street. After some brief rancor, we reached a satisfactory compromise. I left it in the entrance way where we could both watch it.

The young women at the front desk said that for Americans a private room cost $50 per night, cash. They perked up when I told them about my trip, suggested other hotels and let me use their phone to call around. After failing to find a reasonable place in other hotels, I again called Urmas' friends, Tina and Krista. This time I got lucky and they told me to come to them, after much confusion; they didn't have the slightest idea who Urmas was.

I bought a map and an excellent entertainment guide in English, for $1 each. I found their building which turned out to be a hostel operated by the Ministry of Health, which housed a large group of foreign Transcendental Meditation (TM) teachers at the time. I got a clean, safe room for 2  roubles. While exploring the place, I ran into Tina and Krista. They were interested in my trip, oriented me on my map of Tallinn, and fed me a cold vegetarian dinner. I met Dutch, Swedish, and American TM teachers. Their coordinator, an American from Washington, DC, got huffy with me and insisted I had no right to be there eating their food, and that it was only for their "TM family." Afterwards, I met a lovely, older couple from India also there to teach meditation.

I forgot completely about going to Raho's early music concert that evening. I did call Peeter L., the editor of a local new age paper, SUNWIND, and made an appointment for the following day.

Tuesday, November 6, 1990

I woke up thirsty during the night, and filtered a pot of tap water to drink. At dawn I listened to the BBC, wrote in my journal, and had a vitamin with a Soviet chocolate bar for breakfast. I changed rooms, for one with a private bath, which cost me 21 roubles for seven nights.

I walked into town to meet Peeter L. at the Moskva cafe, a haunt of intellectuals. We talked animatedly about Rainbow for almost an hour, over juice. After we parted, I went to get a small take-out pizza, for 6 roubles, and some juice for lunch in my room.

In the middle of the afternoon, I called Peeter M., the computer wiz at the Estonian Institute, before walking over there to visit him and his partner, Sullo, 19 and 20 years old respectively. We talked about computers for a couple of hours. They started the first public BBS in the Soviet Union, and were now running a new one, called Goodwin BBS. They talked about establishing an APC node there. We connected to the Teleport through their excellent equipment, and I downloaded my e-mail onto a diskette they loaned me.

Afterwards, I waited in line on the street for thirty minutes to get three more pizzas for dinner, and took them back to my room to eat. I couldn't reach anyone by phone from the hostel office that evening, and so went to bed early.

>Date:  03-Nov-90 08:11 EST
>From:  M.L. Endicott ?72330,72? ?72330,72?
>Subj:  Have Downloaded your old messages
>
>Dear Marcus,
>  Finally figured out how to capture your stuff (had to go back to
>the software I was using formerly), so I downloaded your old messages
>and deleted them.
>  No news here -- I am well and so are Hamlin, Nanny, and Poppy --
>Pop is in Dalton, GA, this week-end competing in the Georgia bowling
>championships.  I have not heard from Lincoln, but Hamlin said that he got
>a letter and Lincoln was full of beans and having a good time.
>  You take good care of yourself and let me hear from you.  Love,
>Dad /exit


>Date:  03-Nov-90 10:53 EST
>From:  LUCIAN ENDICOTT ?72330,72?
>Subj:  Chat With Lincoln
>
>Dear Marcus,
>     Lincoln called this morning from his home in the south.  Said
>that he was just out of the hospital -- got banged-up right bad in an
>auto accident -- concussion, broken cheek bone -- but said that he was
>OK now.  Said that he would not be able to make it to St. Simons for
>Xmas.  I just got off the phone with Grandmom giving her the news -- she
>and the Williamsons are all OK.  Let me hear from you.  Love, Dad


>Date:  06-Nov-90 09:47 CST
>From:  M.L. Endicott [72330,72] [72330,72]
>Subj:  love from Estonia
>
>Hi dad, arrived Tallinn, Estonia, by train.  Ended bike portion
>last thursday in snow storm in Tartu, Estonia.  No problems.  Sorry to
>hear about Lincoln.  Please give him my love.  Marcus :-)


>Date:  06-Nov-90 09:49 CST
>From:  M.L. Endicott [72330,72] [72330,72]
>Subj:  love from Estonia
>
>Hi, am fine in Estonia.  love marcus


>Date:  06-Nov-90 19:49 CST
>From:  >INTERNET:cdp!mendicott
>Subj:  love from Tallinn, Estonia
>
>Sender: cdp!mendicott
>Received: from arisia.Xerox.COM by saqqara.cis.ohio-state.edu
>         (5.61-kk/5.901029) id AA14982; Tue, 6 Nov 90 11:36:09 - 0500
>From: cdp!mendicott
>Received: from cdp.UUCP by arisia.Xerox.COM with UUCP
>         (5.61+/IDA-1.2.8/gandalf) id AA01373; Tue, 6 Nov 90 08:36:02-0800
>Message-Id: <9011061636.AA01373@ariasia.Xerox.COM>
>Date: Tue, 6 Nov 90 08:36:02 -0800
>To: 72330.72@compuserve.com
>Subject: love from Tallinn, Estonia
>Cc: mendicott@arisia.Xerox.COM
>
>Hi dad, arrived in Tallinn by train.  Ended the bicycle portion of
>my trip in a snow storm in Tartu, Estonia, last thursday.  Hope this
>reaches you, marcus.
            

Wednesday, November 7, 1990

I woke up before dawn, listened to the BBC, and had a chocolate bar and juice with a vitamin for breakfast. After showering, I put on fresh clothes, that I had washed by hand in the sink with a bar of soap the night before.  I spent the rest of the morning working on my computer and journal.

I heard Revolution Day explosions around 11:00, and went to find out what was going on. I tried to find what was listed as the Tallinn tourist office, but which turned out to be a travel agency. Anyway, they told me I had missed the military parade. Everyone I asked the previous day had claimed not to know anything about it....

I went shopping for for juice, potato chips, bread, and chocolate. When I was asked for ID before buying the chocolate, I told them I was American and they sold it to me anyway. It made me feel like I was taking it from some child's mouth, since I could get it in a dollar shop for about what it would cost me at home.

The pizza take-out was closed, so I went back to the hostel and had juice, potato chips, and chocolate for lunch. I arranged to meet with representatives of the "Young People's Independent Information Center." They turned out to be a local variant of Republican yuppies, feeding information to Radio Free Europe. Afterwards, I met some Systema hippies in a park trying to sell art. We didn't get to talk much because when the police came, I left. I went to a chicken restaurant for dinner, and had half a roasted chicken with rice and salad.

Later that evening, while chatting with the women in the hostel office, I discovered they were Urmas' friends, also Tina and Krista, but different from the TM ones. There was no love lost between them and the TM people, because they felt that the TMers had invaded the hostel and took it over like a Trojan horse. We got a good laugh out of it. I spent the rest of the evening reading various materials about the Soviet Union.

Thursday, November 8, 1990

After listening to the BBC, I had juice, black bread with honey, and chocolate with a vitamin for breakfast. I worked the rest of the morning on my computer and journal. I had lunch of potato chips and juice before going into town.

I bought more chips and some apples, before going back to the scenic overlook where I had met the hippies yesterday. I found them there again. We talked for a while, before going to drink tea and traded addresses. Then I went to the post office for stamps, and to the offices of the ESTONIAN LIFE newspaper to get an English language copy.

I bought three chicken pizzas, and returned to my room for dinner. One of Tina's friends, a Buddhist named Johannes, came by for an hour to talk about Rainbow. He loaned me his walkman and cassette with Tibetan chanting, which sounded more like moaning, but gave the impression of deep space. Later, I went to the Estonian Institute and spent an hour on the Teleport.

>Date:  06-Nov-90 18:21 EST
>From:  M.L. Endicott ?72330,72? ?72330,72?
>Subj:  Downloaded New Msgs, Deleted All
>
>Dear Marcus,
>  Glad to hear all is well with you -- all continues just fine on
>this side.  Take good care of yourself and stay in touch.  Love, Dad


>Date:  07-Nov-90 07:52 EST
>From:  M.L. Endicott ?72330,72? ?72330,72?
>Subj:  Forwarded E-Mail
>
>Dear Marcus,
>     Received a third message from Tallinn which was forwarded from
>another net, so that works too.  Still no news from this side --
>all well.  Talked on the phone last night with Nanny & Poppy and with
>Lincoln to tell them about the messages from Tallinn -- they were all glad
>to hear that things continue well with you.  Take good care of yourself
>and stay in touch.  Love, Dad /EXIT


>Date:  08-Nov-90 13:06 CST
>From:  M.L. Endicott [72330,72] [72330,72]
>Subj:  letter from Tallinn
>
>10am GMT+2
>Tuesday, November 7, 1990
>Tallinn, Occupied Estonia
>59 26' North latitude, 24 46' East longitude
>788 kilometers from the Arctic Circle, 6,672 kilometers from the Equator
>
>Hi!
>
>I finished the bicycle portion of my journey in Tartu, Estonia, at
>sunset on Halloween - in a snow storm.
>
>The Greenway conference, outside of Riga, Latvia, ended Sunday afternoon,
>October 28.  In many ways it was the culmination of my trip.  I left the
>conference center the next morning.  I rode against the wind much of the
>day and had to put tissue in my ear to guard against earache.  I camped
>off the road that evening at a lovely spot in the Gauga national park. 
>The following day I awoke to snow clouds and pushed on through the town of
>Valga on the Estonian border, where I camped in the woods.  On Wednesday,
>I woke up to rain which soon turned into sleet and eventually became snow
>toward mid-afternoon.  With most of my gear soaking wet and the
>temperature plumeting, I completed an 85 kilometer day by walking the last
>10 after dark into the ancient college town Tartu.
>
>I arrived at the apartment of a woman of my own age that I met at
>the Greenway conference.  She is an ecologist at the local nature center
>and is a green member of the town council.  It was her birthday and the
>party was just starting when I arrived.  There was food, singing and
>dancing, and I got a massage.
>
>I spent the next few days visiting various Estonian Greens, based
>in Tartu.  I left there by train Monday morning and arrived in Tallinn
>four hours later.  I'm staying at a hostel for doctors operated by the
>ministry of health, which I discovered through Transcendental Meditation
>(TM) connections.  (They have apparently invaded using Trojan horse
>techniques and are threatening to take it over completely.)  It is clean
>and safe, costing 3 roubles per night for a private room with bath.
>
>I must be in Moscow before November 15 to try to renew my visa.  My
>friend Michael Harshan at Soviet Travels (tel: 007-095-248-3607) says it
>should be no problem to extend until January.  I plan to go there by
>train.
>
>I can now hear the sound and feel the vibration of explosions
>outside my window on this Revolution Day.  I also hear babies crying.  It
>seems that these military parades are a thin excuse for holding urban
>manouvers.  They started positioning around the city a few days ago.
>
>I'm sorry to hear about Lincoln's accident.  Please pass along my
>love to him.  Was he on his motorcycle?  It is not clear which "home in
>the south" you mean.
>
>I sometimes have trouble connecting to Compuserve for one reason or
>another.  When I do connect, it may not be for long.  There are at least
>two things you may want to pay attention to: 1) the date and time of last
>logon; 2) the message buffer.  Sometimes I get on and read your postings,
>but get disconected and do not delete because of capture problems.  (It
>makes me feel almost like a ghost in the machine.)  Also, frequently I get
>disconected before I can complete a transfer.  Perhaps compuserve saves
>something of these partial messages and offers them to you at the next
>attempt to write one.  I am trying to send you mail through the
>EcoNet/Compuserve gateway also.  The following is how to route messages
>from compuserve to EcoNet (IGC):
>
>From COMPUSERVE to IGC:
>
>     >internet cdp!account@labrea.stanford.edu 
> 
>     Substitute the user's account name for account 
> 
>Yes, that is a greater than sign at the beginning of the address.
>Also, there is a space with no colon after internet. 
> 
>EXAMPLE: 
> 
>     >internet cdp!mendicott@labrea.stanford.edu


>Topic 39  Estonia Greens 
>mendicott reg.eeurope    10:47 am  Nov  8, 1990 
> 
>Estonian Green Movement (Eesti Roheline Liikumine - ERL)
>PO Box 300  [Struwe 2] 
>202400 Tartu 
>tel: (7) 01434-30198 
>fax: (7) 01434-31466 
>[Tonu Oja, chairman; Valdur Lahtvee, vice-chiarman; Kalle Kulbok, tel:
>32986 (work)] 
>[formed April 28, 1988 in Tallinn] 
>[circa 4,000 members] 
>[newspaper: IGIHALJAS (EVERGREEN); 3,500x weekly; first published 15
>February 1990; J. Ava, H. Kruus, A. Merilo, editors] 
> 
>Tonu Oja 
>PO Box 300 
>202400 Tartu 
>tel: 34381 (work) 
>     30198 (ERL office) 
>     73517 (home) 
>fax: 01434-35440 
>     01434-31466 
>tlx: 173243 TAUN SU 
>     173245 CITY SU 
>[Tartu Town Council] 
>[Estonian Green Movement] 
>[contact person for Balto-Scandian Information Center] 
> 
>Toomas Frey 
>Tartu University 
>Laboratory of Ecosystems 
>Ulikooli 18 
>202400 Tartu 
>tel: 01434-34381 (office) 
>           31972 (home) 
>fax: 01434-35440 
>tlx: 173243 TAUN SU 
>[minister of environment] 
>[Estonian Green Movement] 
> 
>Mart Kulvik 
>49-4 Raatuse 
>202400 Tartu 
>tel: 34-979 (work) 
>fax: (7) 01434-31466 
>[Tartu Town Council] 
>[Tartu Town Ecologist] 
>[EYFA Estonia/1991 Ecotopia coordinator; PO Box 222] 
> 
>Kulli Kalamees 
>Youth Nature House (Noorte Loodusmaja) 
>Tahe 95 
>202400 Tartu 
>tel: 73905 
>[contact person in Tartu for Greenway network] 
>[Tartu Town Council] 
>[Ecologist] 
> 
>Ege Hirv 
>A-Club 
>Box 3407 
>200090 Tallinn 
>tel: 472867 
>tlx: 173131 ALGUS SU 
>[Estonian Green Movement] 
>[Green Youth] 
>?[spiritual environmental association & member of Center for Youth 
>  Initiative]? 
> 
>Peeter Liiv 
>Sutiste tee 44-32 
>200034 Tallinn  
>tel: 526163 (home) 
>[Editor of PAIKESETUUL (SUNWIND) new age newspaper: P.O. Box 3575,
>200090 Tallinn; 20,000x] 
>[Head of ERL Way of Life Committee] 
>[President of Tervis health club] 
> 
>Valdur Lahtvee 
>Sole 37a-21 
>200032 Tallinn 
>tel: (7) 0142-492087 
>[vice-chairman Estonian Green Movement] 
>[contact person for Clean Baltic Coalition] 
> 
>Vello Pohla 
>Gogoli 31-8 
>200010 Tallinn 
>tel: 0142-422011 (work) 
>          424208 (home) 
>[head of political committee of ERL] 
>[ERL Green Party/full member European Greens] 
> 
>Mati Rahu 
>Estonian Cancer Registry 
>Hiiu 42 
>200107 Tallinn 
>tel: 0142-514394 
>[Tallinn Green Movement, international contact person] 
> 
>Tiit Heidmets 
>Eesti Raamat Publishers 
>Parnu mnt 10 
>200090 Tallinn 
>tel: 0142-443268 
>[Tallinn Green Movement] 
>[contact person in Tallinn for Greenway network] 
> 
>Hillar Viks 
>Kar{stiku 10 
>200020 Tallinn 
>tel: 0142-239733 (home) 
>[Tallinn Green Movement] 
>["Green Maardu" project (green tourism) on site of old fertilizer
>plant and phosphorous mine next to Tallinn] 
> 
>ROHELINE (GREEN) 
>Tallinn Green Movement 
>Box 3046 
>200090 Tallinn 
>[Hugo Udusaar, editor-in-chief] 
>[monthly newsletter of Tallinn Green Movement] 
>[first published June 1989] 
> 
>Mario Kivistik 
>Box 3046 
>200090 Tallinn 
>tel: 0142-681319 
>[non-ERL Estonian Green Party] 
            

Friday, November 9, 1990

After listening to the BBC, I had juice and cold chicken pizza with a vitamin. The rest of the morning, I wrote in my journal and worked on the computer, organizing the information captured during the previous night's online session.

In the afternoon, Johannes came and took me by bus to visit the Estonian Buddhist Society, for a quarterly puja. It was located in a small cottage in a residential neighborhood. There was a lovely alter in a white room hung with rainbow-colored Mongolian iconographic paintings. We sat there on cushions on the floor, and talked and snacked for more than an hour before meditating and doing some rituals.

I learned more about meditation, just by being together there with these serious students, than I did during the whole of my previous experience. I finally realized that meditation is not something; it is nothing. In other words, meditation is not so much trying to do something, as with a technique; rather, it is trying to achieve nothingness.

Afterwards, we snacked and talked some more, mostly about their monastery, or lamasery, at Buryatia, in Central Asia around lake Baikal, near Mongolia. Afterwards, Johannes left me in the care of his friends. We walked across the neighborhood to the room of one of the women. It was beautiful, hung with dried herbs and adorned with various Asian religious motifs. We watched her slides of Central Asia and the far East, and had another snack.

I went back alone, by bus to the center of town, and waited in line at the take-out place for about 30 minutes for three chicken pizzas, which cost 17.70 roubles. I went back to my room for a late dinner with juice, and was soon asleep.

I dreamt of being somewhere in Central Asia on a rally, like the Paris-Dakar, with two bicycles. I tried to locate the best camel market, but went to a frozen lake with unidentifiable people floating in the middle of it, clinging to logs. I went to "mother's house," but it had fallen downhill....

Later, I interpreted this to mean that I must have felt that my current bicycle adventure was somehow competitive in nature, even if only a challenge to myself. The two bicycles seemed to represent the awkwardness of dragging my fully loaded bike around, on and off trains and in and out of hotels. The camel market must have been the "meat market" aspect of shopping for something as useful as a wife. The frozen lake scenario probably means that rather than a wife all I found were people in dire straits. And the last bit seems to indicate, "you can't go home again."

Saturday, November 10, 1990

After listening to the BBC, I had cold chicken pizza with filtered water and a vitamin for breakfast. The women in the hostel office called the train station for me about a ticket to Moscow, but without luck. So, I went to the Intourist office in the Hotel Viru. I ended up buying four tickets, a whole compartment, for 90 roubles. I also changed a $50 traveler's check, bought a copy of the ESTONIAN INDEPENDENT newspaper, and called Michael Harshan to tell him when I would arrive in Moscow.

I wandered around the old town, and bought juice, ice cream, cookies, apples, and pomegranates. I also stopped for coffee, before going back to the hostel for a "lunch" of cookies and ice cream. I worked on my computer most of the afternoon. I had problems with saving files generically.

In the evening, I went to meet Johannes at a Sri Chinmoy meditation group he was leading. It was their third meeting, and consisted mostly of older women. We went back to my room afterwards, accompanied by a young woman Intourist guide. We snacked and talked about new age things until almost midnight.

Sunday, November 11, 1990

I listened to the BBC, and had juice with spirulina and a pomegranate with a vitamin for breakfast. I wrote in my journal, took a shower, and worked on my computer the rest of the morning, revising and updating my list of Moscow contacts.

For lunch, I had juice, potato chips, and black bread with honey in my room. I continued working most of the afternoon. In the evening, I went into town to get pizzas, and came back to the room to eat them with juice. I spent the rest of the evening reading about the ecology of the Soviet Union, and my Lonely Planet guidebook. I really admire author David Stanley's work; he is truly a genius.

I had difficulty getting to sleep, and woke up in the night thinking that someone was knocking on my door, until I realized that it was only my stomach growling.

Monday, November 12, 1990

After listening to the BBC, I had cold pizza, a pomegranate, and filtered water with a vitamin for breakfast. I wrote in my journal and worked on the computer the rest of the morning.

Then Johannes came by and we went to a chicken place for lunch, and then to the ski jump for viewing the city panorama. On the way back we stopped at a publishing house cafe for tea and cake, before going to my room for a chat. He told me that his real name was Raimond.

I left for the train station walking my bike, since there was ice on the ground all day. I got the bike past the conductor and into my compartment, thanks to the intercession of Vadim, a 26 year old Russian radio amateur from Kishniev, Moldavia. Later, he stopped by my compartment for tea and to express his frustration with the "mess" in his country.

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